One of the few things which has genuinely miffed me, is how and why women place so much emphasis on and fall for a guy with good English-speaking ability.
Mere good communication skills is never enough.
I don't believe in being wordy; so all I have to say regarding this is:
English mattum terinja poduma? Vishayam teriyanum 'la?*
*It is not enough to just be good at English. One should know the matter also.
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40 comments:
When a guy can convince more than half the population of a nation to believe that he can "change the world" through his oratorial skills and a catchy slogan, what's a few women here and there?
on a different note, why are women so demanding? first english padi, athuku mela matter vera therinjiko...
Here's why guys with good spoken English have it good:
Good spoken English is often assumed to be indicative of a relatively affluent/ modern/ pedigreed upbringing! Generally, people assume that people with good spoken English skills come from "good schools" (meaning "expensive/ hep schools"), which primarily take in kids of upper middle class/ professional class parents. So, a person with spoken good English ability (again generally, not always) can be trusted to be cultured and to possess modern/ urban values, even if they aren't rich per se. It's akin to judging a person by the way they dress/ brands they use.
PS: I think I can safely assume from the title that you don't realize what "matter" means in Tamil, esp when it comes to dating! :D
They do?? ow..isn't that a bit shallow?
I thought a guy or with a good English was often called peter in our beloved Madras.. (for the others, a desi showing off his language skills is termed as peter uttufying)..
with ur title I thought u were gonna talk Einsteinian physics, but this is crisper and clearer than that. lol
@SRK
the main problem is that its not just a few women.
As for the demand to be good at English-you're asking the wrong person. :)
@Idling
"It's akin to judging a person by the way they dress/ brands they use."-I rest my case.
P.S-I think I do. I was hoping ppl would be wise enough to sidestep the first thing that comes to mind, and take "matter" in a more general sense and relate it to knowing one's stuff. The translation was not meant to be Tamil specific. :)
@Varun
Sorry to disappoint. But this is much more clearer, isn't it? :))
I agree with SRK and Idling on this one.
English does matter and those who do understand the 'matter' would 'fall' for it.
:D
My cousin refused to marry a guy because his grammar was bad when he spoke English.
(I'm glad she didn't marry him, because many other things were also not too good.)
A point I didn't really make clear in my comment was that though there are tons of exceptions, at least 50% of the time, these predilections are accurate.
I agree totally .... Its the essence which matters .....
I think the underlying problem lies with women who read Mills & Boons and talk in 'nooni-naaku' english like contemporary news reporters believing that they are the paradigm for smartness. Naturally, they expect the same from men. Those who tend to talk less and have more 'matter' tend to get passed off as nerdy or boring.
For example, if you see the paper published in 1927 by renowned scientist..blah blah blah
"This is what the matter is",
Meenakshi maami said,
"This English, I tell you it is completely,
Spoiling our children's head"
"All this silly VJ talk,
All this other chatter,
It may get you to USA, ok.
But can it get you matter?"
hey also i think I love your blog. If you dont feel stalked, etc., i would like to put it on my list. let me know if okay.
yea. if the person has 'saththu', a good level of comm skill will also be present.
as long the person is himself/herself n honest, the level of peterness/maryness is a non-issue.
if it's an issue, then those who mind don't matter cos those who matter don't mind. simple!
Sriram
@Vivek
Lets agree to disagree then. :)
@aand
Am glad for your cousin. :)
@Idling
Lets hope then that at least 50% of the women who use this as a marker fall into your "accurate" 50%. :)
@Rahul
Yup. Call it essence, matter, stuff, whatever. Its wht matters in the end. :)
@Mambalam
Yes, I think Mills&Boon to an extent is the seed that becomes the root of most women's sorrow when it comes to men.
@iissarayu
lol...loved the poem!
Glad you enjoyed reading this blog. Go ahead and put me on your list. Just dont forget to give me a link to your space. :)
@Sriram
Agree with the last line :)
I think of - Thoughts and expressing them in a language. Doesn't really matter which language, till one can state clearly and convincingly what they want to. So well "matter" really matters. No matter which language one chooses. Confusing aint it?
Dran! Just when you thought good English could get you something ... :( :P
lots of thinks shouldnt matter when it comes to marriage but it does for either of the sexes.
these choices are hardly logical even though life would be lot simpler if they were.
english doesnt cut it anymore?
chaila fukat mara mari kiya iskool mein :P
Title'a padichitu aadi poiten. Padicha dhaan theriyudhu idhu vera'nu.
On a more sombre note, women shouldn't be gullibe. There is a general impression that girls fall for jerks.
I get annoyed by people judging people solely on their command over English. Having said that, there is some truth to the idea that if you have attended an English medium school throughout your education, and you have not grasped English well enough, it does say something about your ability to learn things. What say?
guilty as charged...personally i dont see myself being interested in anyone who doesnt speak good english...
however...defining good english is crucial..i dont need him to use fancy words or accented english..just good, plain grammatically correct english will do..
"please feel free to touch with with"
"XYZ has run over a 300 centres"
"I was living in abroad"
...are just some horrific examples!!
@Perception
Id go so far as to say matter/knowing one's stuff is all that matters! :D
@Raga
I know, right!? :P
@Sachita
That's life, I guess.
@buddy
fikar math kar-im sure it still cuts it for some, if not most. :))
@BSK
I think the falling for jerks part has more to do with how much money/status the boy has. Though angrej does play a solid role, I guess.
@Liberal
I think it says more about their priority rather than ability. :)
@Princess Fiona
Perhaps this post might cause you to rethink that? :))
:D..
@anjana: Thanks, thanks.
you'll find the link to my page if you click my name comment.
@Filarial
:D
@iissarayu
I tried that previously too and it says you profile is not available for public viewing. Hence my request. :)
@anjana: thats strange.
here it is: http://iissarayu.blogspot.com/
well....Frankly I am surprised that English skills are tested in the marriage market...
What about bad spellings? I cannot survive without a spell checker!
Cheers!
Kaushik
@iissarayu
thanks. :) If you go into My Account (on your top right) and click on Settings next to the Blogger link, you can check the box marked "Share my Profile" and also select your blog to display so that everyone can get to it without you having to take the trouble of giving us the url each time. :)
@kaushik
Tell me about it! english, of all things, is tested in the marriage market. but then the lady probably makes certain (misconstrued?) associations with it as Idling pointed out.
vaat ees the maater? I'd say grammar is important though not the only thing that is.
and yeah, Good say SRK.
I really had a good smile after reading it!.. good 1
Hi Anjana!
I've thought about this issue before, but still, thought-provoking, nevertheless.
Most of the things we fall for are subconscious, be it looks, language skills, gait, dressing sense, fragrance! So, I don't think first, that the process of 'falling for' can be actually regulated. One realizes it only after it happens. In retrospect, I could certainly think, what in a person attracted me towards them (whatever gender), and more so if that attraction were to prove a mistake.
I tend to get impressed by people possessing impressive skills in any language. Not just English. Language skills stand for many underlying tendencies. The desire to learn more (words)--curiosity, a good understanding of subtle differences between words with close words--good comprehension and memory, appropriate sentence structuring--aesthetic sense, playing with the words--creativity and innovativeness.
It's been found that good language skills are an indicator of high IQ. So much so that their testing is included in most of the IQ tests.
Please note, though, that what all I've written above applies almost exclusively to written English. If someone could manage to exhibit all the above skills while speaking--I'd be just too awed! Though, I do know a few such people. I consider them intelligent, creative, spontaneous, but not necessarily good humans solely account of finding their language skills impressive.
Personally, I'd be somewhat impressed if a person pronounces a few exotic words accurately. But would be too disappointed if what (content) they articulate turns out to be total 'crap'. Good language and good content have to go hand-in-hand. I'd be highly irritated if I find (for instance, on a blog), someone using great English without conveying anything meaningful. It'd reek of pretentiousness. Likewise, I don't remember encountering great ideas conveyed in grammatically flawed English.
So eventually, the kind of English one uses gives away a lot about them--what kind of personality they are--restrained and precise v/s flamboyant and pompous--as two extreme examples.
Nice post!
Take care.
*words with close meanings.
Typo--when extolling use of good English! Unforgivable!
Evalavo Pannitto..ithu matum panna koodatha :)
First Time: Hi!! Like the title!
Keep 'em coming! \m/
@Vibushan
:)
@DT
thanks.
@Ketan
"the kind of English one uses gives away a lot about them--what kind of personality they are--restrained and precise v/s flamboyant and pompous--as two extreme examples."
i think one's personality shines through regardless of the kind of english they are using. Communication can be done in many ways. As long as you get your point across at the end of the day, i believe it really doesn't matter. :)
@DPhatsez
thankyou. :)
did i read anjana saying
"Lets agree to disagree" in one of the comments ?
hallelujah.
I will never believe that you would want to say that urself :P.
@satya
yes. thats because i always use Occam's Razor principle with Vivek. :)
ha!...so agree with this post...more so because i know quite a few real nice guys who clearly know the rights from the wrongs, are pretty good at what they do for a living, but English just happens to not be a strength...
but i guess we all have our wish lists...when you're younger you want someone who can sweep you off your feet with his interestingness, eloquent lines, and quotations...but with time you figure all you need is someone nice and reliable, not necassarily someone who can write a great SOP for a B-school that you'd be proud of...
@frissko
my sentiments exactly. :)
It all seems like what corporates would expect out of freshers from college...
Good Communication Skills with knowledge on subject.. I just can't make the connection..
I agree with SRK though. :)
However, Good communication comes into picture only when you clear the aptitude test (for companies).. just trying to figure out what test, guys should clear when it comes to girls.. :)
Ahem :P
Some realization that has been dawning on me of late, and been quite hard hitting too. I've been reading a lot of famous (in the blogosphere) blogs by Indians (specifically, Tamils) both in India and US and used to get confused a lot. English was good and the presentation/articulation was ridiculously entertaining/engrossing, but subject matter was very disturbing/confusing, etcetera. Not the kinds that we expect where we assumed people with good englipees -> very knowledgeable and correct. Not any more. And then, I realized...if there is a Swapan Dasgupta, there will always be a Dilip D'Souza.
Note: And I'm not taking sides. ;-)
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