Y to the Z

So here's whats happening:

• Saw Chocolate Krishna. Good stuff. Crazy hasnt lost it. yet.
• Finally got back in touch with my paatu guru. Had a nice long discussion about music and yoga(!). Was great to see her again.
• Saw a semma hot my-type guy at Citi center couple of weeks back and have been fixated on him since. Looks like one of those in-U.S-on-visit-back-home types. Overheard him talking. Is a graphics designer it seems and likes Kafka. whoa! talk abt 'for a change'. Might go back just to try and see if i can see him again. :D
• Dreamed a bit about Darvaz (the Russian thing-doorway to hell and all).
• Deflected romantic attentions of Chennai Public Transport employees. I can now write a book on this topic.
• Friends are down from the States. And got back in touch with some solid, old ones in Madras. Awesome hang out+discussions happening.
• Saw Amelie thanks to a certain someone's comment abt its music.
• Realized that its music is good. Also listened to DiMeola and saw Malgudi Days. Brought back old memories when life was less complex. And when internet did not exist. yet.

Pilgrim's Progress

It is not everyday that one gets the opportunity to do yeoman's service unto others. So when my chance came along, I didnt want to pass it up.

A relative wanted me to drive 3 elderly maamis to a certain temple for them to, in turn, do yeoman's service unto others by way of charity. I agreed with cheerful enthusiasm.

When the maamis arrived, their initial enthusiasm regarding their temple visit and my initial eagerness to drive them were both dampened a little due to mutual fear and nervousness.
"How can this child drive anything except a tricycle?" said L maami. Admiring the maami's honesty and almost complete lack of tact, I proceeded to whet my appetite and theirs for the journey with tales of my exploits on the road. "Appidiya? Appo daily naan R__ hall ku bhajans ku poven. Yenna daily kondu udariya?" said M maami. "Kandipa mudinjiduna udaren maami" i replied with lying tact, shooting L maami a "thats how its done!" look. Sadly, L maami did not notice as she was busy trading poornam recipes with the cook.

As the maamis filed into the car complaining about everything in general and nothing in particular, P maami said "These days i am unable to sit still for long periods...." "Dont worry maami, the car will be moving" I said and quickly revved the engine while maami figured out how to respond to the statement.
Once on the road, things got a little better as the maamis became their usual chatty selves and gossiped, laughed and remarked about everything from Sandhyavandanam to technological advantages that favored the daughter-in-law.

Now, I was following the maamis instructions on how to get to the temple. However, it soon became apparent to me that we were lost. "Perhaps we shouldve taken that exit..." I murmured. This remark, in turn, caused what can mildly be described as extreme panic. "Are we lost?" asked L maami in a shrill voice. "Your directions are not correct, maami." "Then let us use this!" screamed M maami, fishing out a map of Aruba from somewhere in the backseat. Marvelling at M maami''s "Any map will do" logic, I decided to get off the highway before P maami bit completely through her lower lip.

After a few misses punctuated with the maamis' helpful remarks ("We have seen that crane before!") we finally managed to backtrack. Realizing that we had not wandered far from the correct the road, I made a few quick calculations and we were soon on the road that would take us straight to the temple. We were in time for the darshan, and the maamis were in time to complete the itinerary they had in mind.
The return journey was uneventful and peaceful.

Later that night, M maami's son called me up and said,. "Amma said she had a very exciting and enjoyable journey with you to the temple."

I'm glad you did, maami.

Put Phil.Fundaes

What is the meaning of life?

Not a Word

One of the most liberating experiences, according to me, is driving alone at night with good music.

In one of the theaters in town, which was located in a rather quiet part of town, Manoj Shyamalan's Lady in the Water was running in theaters well past its sell-by date. Considering the fact that fantasy movies had always had a strange appeal to me, it was not surprising that I decided to go watch this movie.

I got my chance soon enough. In no mood for crowds and desperately craving alone time that night, I decided to catch this movie when a party was being thrown.

A weekday, the theater was quiet and almost empty with me and just a few others.

The details of the movie escape me.

What I do remember was my drive back home along on one of the most dimly lit and loneliest streets I'd ever been on, with Alan Parson's Silence and I playing softly on my car stereo.

We're two of a kind

Silence and I
We need a chance to talk things over
Two of a kind

Silence and I

We'll find a way to work it out.

My only company was Eric Woolfson's quiet voice singing about silence inside the car;

and the silence of the night outside: carefully quiet, and sublimely hopeful.

Alpam

Alpam* is as alpam does.


*cheap and silly; stupid and inane.

Update: I just realized that bloggers explain long absences and/or apologize for them. I did not know this was a kind of etiquette. Forgive me, I'm new. My reason? Because mobility means social life.

Cooking 101: Rubbish Potatoes

Image Source: my kitchen.

Just like any other person who is undergoing physiotherapy and who accidentally hurt the same foot which was healing, thereby causing a nasty, bloody bruise which caused swelling all over again, I boldly ventured into the kitchen yesterday to make myself something to eat as I was hungry and I was also reveling in my new found mobility.

Now I believe it is of paramount importance to not delude yourself.
Therefore, knowing that the culinary dept. was not one of my strengths, I decided to make the simplest dish known to man a.k.a baked potatoes. Let me categorically state that it all began well and I was successfully able to skin and cut the potatoes while ignoring the mild throbbing on my foot.
Emboldened, I proceeded with what can only be described as "great enthu".

After following my mother's instructions thus far, I forgot her instructions on how to set the oven and place the potatoes in them (refer 25 things about me- point 17).
Playing by ear and going along with the flow, I made some (later revealed as nowhere in the vicinity of the ballpark) guesstimates and pressed on. I waited for a bit. The throbbing was mildly irritating and so I sat down and started dreaming and salivating in anticipation of my meal to come.
It was at this point that I smelt something burning. Hastily, I got up. A sharp shooting pain in my foot due to recently acquired wound made me plop back down again completely unable to get up.

Realizing I was in rather a predicament, I somehow managed to switch off and open the oven with a walking stick. Only to be greeted by a charred sight (refer pic. above).
However, I believe in taking responsibility for one's actions and ate the potatoes after removing the charred bits and coating what was left with some rubbish "lemon-drizzle" dressing.

Just for the record, I offered it very kindly to other human beings who refused after grimacing.
Yes, they all grimaced. Every single one.

Blog Long and Prosper

I have been reading my blog, and realized that I have not made a single post about my orthopedic health.
Readers of this blog may never have guessed that for the past couple of months my left leg was in a lot of pain and discomfort from foot to knee and that I had fluid build-up also. I could hear this weird grinding noise of the bone. I was and still am on pretty powerful painkillers that cause pretty powerful nausea and grogginess and make me a bit irritable and woozy.

Also, the doc said it was taking an uncharacteristically long time to heal. So I had to get another scan done also to rule out more hidden minute bone cracks and other exciting things.

However, the important thing is that the bandages et al. came off a few days back and I have now started physiotherapy and can walk again. Albeit with a little pain.

--------------------

I am very excited about the new Star Trek movie.
Spock and Kirk never looked this good.

All together now: Blog long and prosper.

With tongue firmly in cheek.

Philosophy Story

Steven G rode the Point to Point bus hanging out of the window with the wind coursing through his hair. He had come to India a week back to discover the meaning of life.

He rode the bus for an important reason. Haibomma Begum on the other hand rode the bus for a much more mundane reason. Her family owned a flower business and she was headed to procure some special string needed. The only string Steven knew was String Theory.

The bus stopped and the Begum and Steve alighted.

Steven looked around and spotted a large elephant outside a temple eating several bananas simultaneously. Immediately he composed a philosophical couplet. Satisfied, he proceeded towards the temple to meet with one Swami Adangapidarinanda.

(to be continued)

Matter

One of the few things which has genuinely miffed me, is how and why women place so much emphasis on and fall for a guy with good English-speaking ability.
Mere good communication skills is never enough.

I don't believe in being wordy; so all I have to say regarding this is:

English mattum terinja poduma? Vishayam teriyanum 'la?*




*It is not enough to just be good at English. One should know the matter also.

I was tagged on facebook a couple of months back before this leg fiasco by S who said to me: "A, will you do this 25 thing?"
I honestly didnt have time then as I was busy with work and had a social life.
But now I am unable to participate in both above mentioned activities and so will take up this tag.
I have seen many ppl do this tag on their blog and thought this was a good idea and so i will also do it on my blog (since I currently have one).

25 is a huge number and i am not known for sustaining my interest in anything for too long, but I will finish this.


1. I am not fond of chocolate. If all the women in the world were divided into those who love and hate chocolate, I would probably be all alone on one side with the rest of the women on the other.
2. While we're on this topic, I might as well 'fess up that I ABSOLUTELY HATE coffee and am not that into ice-cream either.
3. My favorite colors are blue, black and red.
4. I don’t like wearing jeans. For some weird reason, it hurts my skin.
5. My favorite fruit/flavor is mango. The only ice-cream I will touch is Mango ice-cream.
6. I have at least 5 pairs of black pants and at one point had 4 black winter coats. I used to try to wear these at any given time. Because of this, I was given the name 'Grim.'
7. The previous naming ceremony was also held because I can be pretty cold and un-emotional sometimes. However, I am pretty good at masking this when I want to.
8. I love pecan pie and cheesecake. There was a point of time where the highlights of my life used to be used to be BK Veggie burger and Mango cheesecake.
9. I love tea. (no brownie points for guessing that one). I can also make quite good tea, my sole claim to fame in the culinary dept.
10. I am a sci-fi fan. Star trek and Star Wars being my favorite.
11. Coming from a musically inclined (and of course tam-brahm) family, I was put into Carnatic vocal (presumably because I was a girl) and instrumental classes from a young age. I am a pretty good singer, if I do say so myself. I also believe I know my music pretty well. So if I tell you its ragam Durbari Kaanada, it probably is.
12. I used to be good at Shot-put and Javelin. The only sport that I still enjoy playing now and follow regularly is Tennis.
13. I believe in live and let live (usually). You really have to be one mentally sick specimen to want to annoy me. However, if annoyed and pushed, I can get nasty.
14. I am very absent-minded. A number of times I have opened the fridge and forgotten what I wanted or walked into rooms and couldn’t remember what I came there for.
15. I love Lego. I used to build spaceships as a kid with my Lego blocks and this used to be my favorite pastime apart from reading.
16. Most people, when they meet me in person, seem astonished that I am interested in science, philosophy, and sci-fi. Probably they were expecting thick glasses. I’m usually the one who has the last laugh in these meetings.
17. I forget things quickly. I have scrapes on my body that I usually can’t remember how I got. This sometimes worries my mother. (love you amma).
18. I am not that good a cook. I suspect due to poor short-term memory. But if someone else is there along with me in the kitchen, I can manage quite well.
19. I love philosophy. I can have discussions about Vedanta anywhere, anytime.
20. There are only 3 languages I can read, write AND speak/understand: English, Hindi and Sanskrit.
21. My favorite part of Chennai is Mylapore.
22. I like martial arts.
23. I have a varied music taste. I enjoy listening to almost everything from Carnatic to Jazz to Japanese/Chinese classical. My favorite music band of all time is Alan Parsons Project.
24. I love reading. My favorite books include Amar Chitra Katha, Asterix, Tintin, Calvin and Hobbes, Panchatantra, Hitopadesha, The Upanishads, The Mahabharatha and Ramayana, and R.K Narayan and Ruskin Bond's works. My favorite book of all time is R.K. Narayan's Swami and Friends.
25. I love listening to the Tambura.

Interactive

I thought perhaps a little interactivity would be nice, as opposed to you just passively reading what I have to say and commenting.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where would you rate your cowardice?

A Violent Man

An almost completely immobile life where one is greatly dependent on infinitely patient parents for simple things including visits to the loo and transport to the next street, has left me feeling quite fidgety.

This coupled with depressing thoughts such as "Will this bandage come off before Agni Nakshatram sets in?" has left me reminiscing about happier, mobile times.

This incident happened when I was 12 during my summer vacation. It was decided that we would go to a popular hill-station for a holiday. However, due to several reasons including my exams, our family had to travel separately, with one set of family and relatives going first and me and my mother coming later, accompanied by a portly family friend who was going to a place a couple of stops after ours.

Now I had never traveled by train before and this was going to be my first time and I was understandably a very excited child. This excitement manifested itself in several forms during the journey with my asking the ticket conductor a smorgasbord of annoying questions, checking the berths for dead people (pun intended) and a number of other things.

Having exhausted these venues, my attention now turned to the portly family friend, whose girth greatly fascinated me. When my mother took her nap, I took the opportunity to focus my energy on this friend. I spilled hot bournvita near his crotch (accidentally) to which he said "its alright ....just a child." I also woke him up from his nap so that I could "check" his berth for safety reasons. Then I excitedly touched his crisp shirt with oily train-food stained hands to show him some cows outside. I also gently poked his stomach and immediately apologized.

At any rate, when we reached our station, the portly gentleman politely helped my mother off the train and after I had gotten off, threw my bugs-bunny suitcase out of the compartment with what I thought was rather unnecessary violence.

A violent man indeed.

Truth or Dare

Lets play a game, shall we?

In this game, I will dispel some myths and corroborate some facts.

• Iyers and Iyengars are always at loggerheads with each other.
  -Myth.
• We still live in a ridiculous society where women are made to feel insecure about their skin-color(or lack of it rather) and ergo their appearance.
  -Fact.
• There has been an increase in rowdyism in Tamilnadu in the past 2-3 years.
  -Fact.
• Indian men in general are more patient than American men.
  -Fact.
  
• Brits are all smarter than Americans.
  -Myth. This may have something to do with the fact that Brits are more harsh and cynical, leading to the mistaken belief that they are smart. This is rubbish. eg: Simon Cowell. His remarks may sound harsh and 'clever' but under careful analysis are actually silly and irritating.
• Aham Brahmasmi.
  -Fact.
• Jealousy and insecurity is present to a slightly greater extent in women than it is in men.
  -Fact. I would like to very clearly state at this point that i do indeed believe in women's rights.
  
• Iyengars ALWAYS make better puliyodarai than Iyers.
  -Myth.
• It is impossible for brains and looks to go together.
  -Myth.
• The Brits have given us some of the best music over the decades.
  -Fact.
• The Law of Karma, though inscrutable, works.
  -Fact.
  

Humor what, ho!

While a student in the US, I suffered for a period of time from a lack of good programs to watch on telly, considering I dont enjoy most American shows (read Lost, Idol, Sex and the City, F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Letterman etc etc). The fact that cable had only 2 channels that showed the sports i liked (european football and tennis, and that too at odd hours : 3.24am-what the heck!? pretty inconvenient when you have a test the next day, id say!)
There was also a lack of good comedy to unwind with during weekends, what with my finding American humor alarmingly boring, and no SunTV and Vadivelu and Vivek (popular Tamil comedians).

It was during this time of desperation that I prayed and hoped for some comedic succor.

Enter Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

Considering the fact that I grew up on British humor with classics like 'Allo 'Allo, Are you being served?, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python and Yes Minister, it was perhaps only natural that I progressed to them.

Their comedy was a new type of modern British humor- downright ridiculous, sometimes even risque, and refreshingly unpretentious; thereby standing a class apart from the other types of current comedic satire that was getting so irritatingly ubiquitous.

To me, they always looked like the modern day version of Laurel and Hardy.

Some of Ricky's quotes:

As David Brent, On Pol Pot:
"Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!"

On Prince:
“Steve Merchant says Prince is a genius. This is Xfm, 104.9!”

And my personal favorite, in concordance with the current economic situation-

As Brent:
“What is the single most important thing for a company? ......It’s the people, investment in people. My proudest moment here wasn’t when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went ‘Mr. Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child?’. Didn’t happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He was rubbish!”

P.S-added as an afterthought-i guess you have to have a certain different type of attitude and approach towards life and comedy to get this sort of humor to work for you.

Seriyana Ashadu

In most tam-brahm households, including mine, the word ashadu is used to refer to a silly person, because of something silly they did. It is used usually in a gently chiding way. For example in the following context:


Mami : ketelo 'na? kalyaanathula ponnoda vaira mookuthi kanaama pogumbodu paiyyan yenna pannardu nu teriyaama thalaya sorinjindu adhirsam saaptundirundaan!

Mama : appidiya? seriyana ashada irupaan pola irruke!


At any rate, why this sudden reference to ashadu one may wonder. Well, the above mentioned two-word phrase is what an elderly relative said to my 12 year old cousin when he tried to leap-frog over the vadyaar who was teaching him how to do something of religious significance yesterday.

And while we're on this topic an important cautionary note to all future tam grooms:
if your bride loses her diamond nose stud, dont continue stuffing yourself with bakshanam like an ashadu; drop that mullu murukku and rush to her side.

Aruvaal Tales

Incidents in boys hostels always make for a good read.

This was narrated to me by my chithappa (father's brother), when he was in a boys hostel himself during his college days.

There entered the portals of the college as a freshman, a young man.
Now what was different about this young man that warranted sitting up and taking notice you may ask.

Well, this young man was not only apparently a knowledgeable nerd, he was also (unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) what one would call very easy on the eyes. Added to that he had a good sense of humor.

The former reason making him the favorite of some of the professors in the college and the latter reasons making him the favorite of the members of the opposite sex in the college.

This quickly (albeit understandably) brought about jealousy from various quarters.

Soon, his ordeal began.

Now those of you have lived in a boys hostel know that the ragging can sometimes be cruel.
And it was not an understatement to say that what this boy was subjected to was borderline sadistic.

Perhaps due to his ignorance or perhaps due to his newbie-ness, he did what any self-respecting individual would do: He told his dad.

The next morning, most of the hostelites were lounging in the common room.

In marched this boy's father, with an aruvaal in his hand, and screamed:

"Yevan da avan yen paiyana imsa pannardu!!?"


The ragging stopped.


For the non-Tams:
*Yevan da avan....:"Who dares to trouble my son!!?"
*Aruvaal: a type of sword used by Tamilians to sever the tops of tender coconuts during extreme thirst and the heads of humans during extreme anger.

As some of you might know, Ohno second is that split second where you realize youve made a big mistake, after you make it. usually after pressing a wrong key.



Thank God for Undo Send, which capitalizes on this miniscule fraction of time.

This blog has been started as an experiment to chronicle my life in order to relieve boredom caused by a severely swollen ankle (due to torn ligaments and a tendon) which makes mobility almost impossible.

I had to use a wheelchair today. the doctor asked me to. it was humiliating, to say the least but at least it relieved the strain on my father's arm and my mother's shoulders.

This was started as an experiment. Over the next few days, I will be changing and trying out new layouts and features, so bear with me.

April 10th '09. Lets see how this works out.

oh and btw, the blog title is a reference to the incident involving the ankle. :)